All Moved In

We are finally all moved in and getting back to some resemblence of normal in our lives. I am finding I love having a smaller place. I can get up and clean house before the kids even start! We have always lived in smaller places until the last hosue and it was huge...we thought we needed the space, but over the last year had come to realize that much of it was just that space...no one used the upstairs, there was an extra room downstairs that became a toy/junk room and the laundry room and big walkin pantry became other junk areas...the smaller place fits us and reminds me that sometimes we get caught up in keeping up with the Jones and forget who we are...we like simple...this works for us...

I have been run walking this week...I have a cold and it is making running hard, but I have found an amazing area to run just behind the new house...quiet roads with lots of hills...yes hills excite me now! It is like conquering a foe to make it to the top of these long hills around here...it empowers me and makes me feel strong!

I have also been doing crossfit workouts at home. I have really come to love this style of working out! Some are long, some are short, but all are intense! I love intense...again it is about feeling strong, like a warrior! I can push through them knowing that when I am done, I have fought hard..

Now that the internet is back I plan to do some workout dvd's for kickboxing and cardio dance..we will see what else I find I like....

For the time being, my workouts are at home or in the neighborhood...we still have no car, that means no gym...trying to decide what to do with the gym membership...I am going to see if I can freeze it until I get a car, I don't want to cancel it because I am a charter member and can go to any of our gyms...if I cancel it, I will be limited to the one I would join near here...

Getting ready to get focused back on school. It is almost time for the kids to start so I am going to have to be dillegent with my time for working out, school for them, family fun, God, household stuff and my own study time...working on a plan today to make it happen...

Now I hear a WOD calling me....I was informed this is my game...got to bring it today!!

Moving in Two Days

The boxes are packed, the furniture cleaned and ready to go, several loads have already been delivered to the new house, unpacked and put away. Curtains are hung, pictures on the walls, toys unpacked and ready for the princess to come and play. We have been working on this for two weeks. It has been pack and take a load and unpack...come back and repeat...tomorrow we will be taking the last load of boxes and small things...then Saturday the big move will happen.

My husband was suppose to be here to help with the big stuff...upstairs we had two heavy long dressers with mirrors, a tall dresser, two queen size beds with matresses and box springs, 4 night stands and then the smaller stuff...found out he is not making it home in time to help with any of this, we will be luck if he is at home before we move...so what to do...

I will be honest, I didn't know if my 14 year old and I could carry this stuff down our stairs...they are deep and steep with no rails...I didn't think I would be able to handle it, but when you have to you have to...we tested the water with the lighter set, then brought down the more solid set...I was shocked and so was my daughter at how easy it was for me to move some of this stuff!! All those push ups from the cross fit workouts are paying off...those arms and back are strong!

I was really amazed to realize that there is some defined muscle there...not much..but hey they are there...my arms don't resemble jello now...whoooo hooooo! That makes the push ups and weights worth it!!!

I will be off line for a week or so with the move...hoping it will not be too long...the plan is to get settled and get back into a workout routine that allows me to rock it through the end of the summer and into fall...

Cross fit...3 days a week
Boot camp or kick boxing, 3 days a week
Yoga ... 3 days a week
run...3 days
cycle ...3 days...

Rest and spend time with family Sundays~

Clean eating and lots of water...this summer is not over and I am not going to limp out at the end...I will go out like a warrior!

Looking at the Positives

It is so easy for me to look at my body and tell you what I don't like. One of my goals in vision board is to learn to love and accept my body where it is in this journey. I need my body to work with me to get to where I want to go, so I need to accept it where it is at. Today I am going to take the time to share what I do like about my body and focus on that...I know this can come across as bragging, so if that bothers you please feel free to stop reading now!

Here goes....

My legs...I would have to be honest and say that is my favorite part of my body these days. I have been running for several years now. I started to weight training a while back and discovered that I have strong legs! They are the one part of my body that really shows muscle and definition. I love that I can do squats and lunges. I can dance and jump and run and my legs seem to love it! I also love that at 43 years old, I can put on a short skirt and hills and show off these legs that serve me so faithfully!

My booty...strange I know, but before I started running, it was going flat and starting to sag! Now it is rounded back out and tight...there is actually something there to fill out those jeans!

My arms are a work in progress, but they are showing definition and are way stronger than I thought...150 pushups!! Can I say WOW! There is even some definition coming in those tricepts that tend to sag as we get older! My arms carry my little girl around and lift those boxes without complaining!

My back...this is a big one for me...there was a time that my back had no definition, now I can see little muscles and I enjoy showing it off..I find I sit and stand taller now than I used to. MY back supports all the crazy exercise I do...

My shoulders...they are wide and I used to see this as a negative, but it is a positive...at times my shoulders feel like they carry the weight of the world on them, but they are strong. The wide shoulders make it easy to build the muscle without haveing to really focus on them...instead of hiding them, I will show them off!

Little things...my feet...they are tiny, but cute...I can wear all the cute little shoes and make them look good! My feet carry me through my day, my long runs and dance workouts.

I love the fact that my nails grow long and strong. People always think they are fake...but no my body grows beautiful nails. I am part Indian, so I tan easily in the summer and I love this about my skin. I also love the fact that my skin is soft!

I know I skipped my tummy...this is the battle zone on my body! But for today I will love my tummy where it is...it is not defined, but there is no muffin top or love handles around it anymore. I have a strong core and I will celebrate that today...

There are scars on my body...these remind me of the different events in my life...I have scars on my legs from rock climbing when I was younger and slipping on a sharp rock...I have scars on my arms from on my battle with demons year ago that remind me where I have been. In remembering what was, I can celebrate what is and move forward..I have tons of stretch marks on that tummy from giving birth to my beautiful children...I have a birth mark that is brown and goes across the left side of my forehead and lightly down the left side of my face...it is what makes me me...amazingly, this has never bothered me as much as other people.

So there it is...for today I will love my body for all it does for me, for what it is.

Vision Board!

During this time of stress, I was given a challenge through my Fabulous Fitness team to create a vision board. This was a big help for my focus, to remember why I do what I do and where I want to go with this..

My vision Board is about dream casting...looking at what I want to do in the area of fitness...

I am going to break down the pictures so you can see and understand what the dream/visions are.

When I saw this picture, what I saw was confidence and strength. It is not about wanting to look like her, but wanting that sense of confidence in myself that I see in her..

I am going to have to fight through the tough days, the times I just want to quit...this is my reminder to fight for what I want...up above it is Phil. 4:13...I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!...this is not a journey that I am own by mistake or by myself...I believe that God has placed this passion in me for a reason and He will give me the strength to fight when I want to quit!

I don't want doubt to be my partner in this journey. I want to come to a place where I trust the process and doubt can't invade what I know to be the truth.

These three represent goals for the upcoming year...I want to run the Charity Chase Half Marathon again in 2012...this time for a personal record...that would be anything under 2:20! I want to train for and run the Thunder Road Marathon in 2012 (I may do the half for the Tunder Road this year!) and I would like to compete in the Rambling Rose and/or the YMCA Women only Triathlon.. These are my three big fitness dreams for the upcoming year and the timing on them will give me something to focus on and train for all year!

Clean eating is my goal! I have been up and down on this...this picture represents the recipes inside my clean eating books that I want to try. I know I feel better and my family is healthier when I follow this to the max...not when it is convient!So this will become a way of life for us.

The center of the board says..."Dream Casting...This will be my reality...Accepting myself and loving my body in the journey!I am strong and growing in so many directions! I will learn to listen to my body and treat it with respect!"

This picture didn't fit on the board...it is attached at the bottom, but didn't fit in my picture. I have been working on my Certificaton as a Personal Trainer...I will finish this and be a certified personal trainer. As I said early, I believe this is where God is leading me and there is a purpose in the passion and in my journey to where I want to be. One day the knowledge and experience of my journey will combine to help others in their journey...

They don't show up in the picture, but there are some random words on the board...
Worth it
Consistency
support
faith
Prayer
Be real!

So there you have it, my vision board for the the upcoming year!

Strong and Courageous!

Today started very early for me. I was up at 4am to take a friend to the airport...it was a trade off...I took him to the airport and I get to keep his van...this could help with the moving process starting this week...I got back home and decided to get that run in this morning...it was already hot and sticky...

I put on running shorts, a sports bra (crop top) and a t-shirt...I grabbed my I-pod and started out the door...did I mention it was hot? I started to turn around and go back inside, then I thought I could lose the t-shirt...it would help...nay run with the t-shirt...nope too hot...the issue...I don't like to show my tummy. In part it is about how I was raised, in part it is the part of my body I like the least and I pefer to keep it hid...I tend to wear loose fitting tops and it is covered... I do realize this may seem silly to many of you to struggle with this...

I finally decided that I would lose the t-shirt and run. Do I think I am all that? NO! I was very uncomfortable at first. My body is changing, but it is not as lean as I want it, my belly is not flat...my arms still jiggle some...my body is not where I want it to be, but it is not where it used to be either. I am running half marathons, doing 120 pushups in 12 minutes with other exercises...I am strong...I am a work in progress, but part of that work is accepting myself and my body in the journey...it is not over because I am okay with where I am...I still have goals of where I want to go, but for today, I chose to accept my body, wear a crop top and shorts for a run and by the time I headed home, a friend stop to chat and I didn't even think about what I was wearing or what she was thinking...I felt strong...I had ran 3.5 miles in 32 minutes...I was proud of what my body can do! I am proud of what my body can do and I am going to figure out how to love my body in the process of this journey, to make peace with what is.

I have made good choices with food today, ate clean and drank my water. I am letting myself acknowledge and feel what I feel and sharing those things with a trusted friend..

I am strong and couragous!

Trying To Move Forward

As most of you know things have been very stressful for me lately...that doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon, so I need to change how I cope with it. I need to look at what the situation is and figure out what I can control and what I can't.

Right now, money is so very tight with the move that getting a car is going to have to wait. This means that what I do needs to happen at home or close to home...

The move is set to be August 13, may be able to start moving some stuff in later today! Basicly everything is packed that can be packed and we are ready to go...so not too much left to do around here to get ready...

I do still very overwhelmed by all of this, but I am trying to find the positive in things...the new place is small, but I love the location...great areas to run and ride in, woods behind me and a pond in the center of the community...it will be awesome...

With money as tight as it is, the Tri is going on hold...so I need to find a goal to be working toward in the mean time....it is how I focus...

I have been thinking..marathon? training for a later Tri? I don't know maybe both, but for now my goal is going to be to make peace with where I am and what I can do right now...

Time to get real...I haven't been working out much for a couple of weeks now...this all hit and I got sidetracked...I was emotionally drained and tired physically...so I got slack...this fed into feeling really not good about myself...along with not working out, nutrition went out the window...either not eating enough or eating junk...it is time to put a stop to this!

The plan is to get the nutrition back in line...back to basicly clean eating, 5 times a day, drinking my water and listening to my body.

Workout wise, I am giving myself some break until after the move. I was challenged to a crossfit workout challenge that is 12 minute cicuit that involves 10 push ups, 15 situps and 12 walking lunges...repeated for 12 minutes...for me today that ended up being 120 pushups, 180 situps and 144 walking lunges...who would have thought you could get such a complete workout in 12 minutes!! This works for me at the moment...Three days a week I will do a 3-5 mile run...anything else will be bonus as time allows and energy levels allow...once the move is complete, I will look at what my options are for working out at home until I can get a car....

I have a plan, I have someone to hold me to the plan and I am going to do this...I will not let this crisis and frustration completely derail me!

Struggles

Many of you know that we are facing many changes and some crisis are the reason for them..The good news is we have found a place to move. It is much smaller than where we are, but someone else will be doing the yard work...I like that part at least...It is leaving the town we now live in, but not too far out and closer to the mountains...that is a plus...I am trying to be positive about this change, but for those that know me, you know I don't like change that much...

The other thing that has really thrown me for a loop, my car blew the motor this past week. It is an old car and it would cost more to fix than the car is worth...the problem it is my only car. This means I am sitting at home. I don't know how I am going to move, or how I am going to get where I need to go in the meantime...Financially we are putting everything into the move right now...trying to maintain the home we are in and secure another one is expensive and is not leaving room for buying another car.

On an emotional level, I am struggling...I love the house we are in. I love the town I live in. I am tired of the drama with the house and the owners and I know the move will allow for peace in that sense, but it is a big adjustment to move to a new community and not have transportation at the same time...as for the car, it was my mom's car. She went home to our Father last September and letting go of the car, is like letting go of another part of her...that is why I kept the car to start with...it was like having her with me. She was so proud of that old car and driving it, I felt like she was there with me...it was when I could talk things over with her...it seems like I am having to let go of many of her things right now and that is really hard for me...I am missing her so much right now and honestly feel very alone to deal with it all....

This is my fitness blog, but I really don't have much to say in that area tonight...I did swim some today, but that is about it right now...I have no motivation to get out and run in the heat and the gym is not even possible until we get a car...I am spending most of my time working on packing and trying to sort out the emotions behind this. I know I need to come up with a plan that will work for me until I can get back to the gym...

Nutrition is all over the map. I will admit that I have enjoyed being a little more relaxed about it, but I know I need to get the meals back on track...at least I can control that right now...nothing else seems to be within my control....

I am having major issues with sleep...I have a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep...I wake up tired and grumpy and just wanting to go back to bed, but if I lay down I am wide awake....

Hopefully I will figure out how to make the move happen, and settle in to the new place in a couple of weeks and be able to get back on track....

Sharing this, so people don't think I just vanished, just not in the best place right now.