Vision Board!

During this time of stress, I was given a challenge through my Fabulous Fitness team to create a vision board. This was a big help for my focus, to remember why I do what I do and where I want to go with this..

My vision Board is about dream casting...looking at what I want to do in the area of fitness...

I am going to break down the pictures so you can see and understand what the dream/visions are.

When I saw this picture, what I saw was confidence and strength. It is not about wanting to look like her, but wanting that sense of confidence in myself that I see in her..

I am going to have to fight through the tough days, the times I just want to quit...this is my reminder to fight for what I want...up above it is Phil. 4:13...I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!...this is not a journey that I am own by mistake or by myself...I believe that God has placed this passion in me for a reason and He will give me the strength to fight when I want to quit!

I don't want doubt to be my partner in this journey. I want to come to a place where I trust the process and doubt can't invade what I know to be the truth.

These three represent goals for the upcoming year...I want to run the Charity Chase Half Marathon again in 2012...this time for a personal record...that would be anything under 2:20! I want to train for and run the Thunder Road Marathon in 2012 (I may do the half for the Tunder Road this year!) and I would like to compete in the Rambling Rose and/or the YMCA Women only Triathlon.. These are my three big fitness dreams for the upcoming year and the timing on them will give me something to focus on and train for all year!

Clean eating is my goal! I have been up and down on this...this picture represents the recipes inside my clean eating books that I want to try. I know I feel better and my family is healthier when I follow this to the max...not when it is convient!So this will become a way of life for us.

The center of the board says..."Dream Casting...This will be my reality...Accepting myself and loving my body in the journey!I am strong and growing in so many directions! I will learn to listen to my body and treat it with respect!"

This picture didn't fit on the board...it is attached at the bottom, but didn't fit in my picture. I have been working on my Certificaton as a Personal Trainer...I will finish this and be a certified personal trainer. As I said early, I believe this is where God is leading me and there is a purpose in the passion and in my journey to where I want to be. One day the knowledge and experience of my journey will combine to help others in their journey...

They don't show up in the picture, but there are some random words on the board...
Worth it
Consistency
support
faith
Prayer
Be real!

So there you have it, my vision board for the the upcoming year!

Strong and Courageous!

Today started very early for me. I was up at 4am to take a friend to the airport...it was a trade off...I took him to the airport and I get to keep his van...this could help with the moving process starting this week...I got back home and decided to get that run in this morning...it was already hot and sticky...

I put on running shorts, a sports bra (crop top) and a t-shirt...I grabbed my I-pod and started out the door...did I mention it was hot? I started to turn around and go back inside, then I thought I could lose the t-shirt...it would help...nay run with the t-shirt...nope too hot...the issue...I don't like to show my tummy. In part it is about how I was raised, in part it is the part of my body I like the least and I pefer to keep it hid...I tend to wear loose fitting tops and it is covered... I do realize this may seem silly to many of you to struggle with this...

I finally decided that I would lose the t-shirt and run. Do I think I am all that? NO! I was very uncomfortable at first. My body is changing, but it is not as lean as I want it, my belly is not flat...my arms still jiggle some...my body is not where I want it to be, but it is not where it used to be either. I am running half marathons, doing 120 pushups in 12 minutes with other exercises...I am strong...I am a work in progress, but part of that work is accepting myself and my body in the journey...it is not over because I am okay with where I am...I still have goals of where I want to go, but for today, I chose to accept my body, wear a crop top and shorts for a run and by the time I headed home, a friend stop to chat and I didn't even think about what I was wearing or what she was thinking...I felt strong...I had ran 3.5 miles in 32 minutes...I was proud of what my body can do! I am proud of what my body can do and I am going to figure out how to love my body in the process of this journey, to make peace with what is.

I have made good choices with food today, ate clean and drank my water. I am letting myself acknowledge and feel what I feel and sharing those things with a trusted friend..

I am strong and couragous!

Trying To Move Forward

As most of you know things have been very stressful for me lately...that doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon, so I need to change how I cope with it. I need to look at what the situation is and figure out what I can control and what I can't.

Right now, money is so very tight with the move that getting a car is going to have to wait. This means that what I do needs to happen at home or close to home...

The move is set to be August 13, may be able to start moving some stuff in later today! Basicly everything is packed that can be packed and we are ready to go...so not too much left to do around here to get ready...

I do still very overwhelmed by all of this, but I am trying to find the positive in things...the new place is small, but I love the location...great areas to run and ride in, woods behind me and a pond in the center of the community...it will be awesome...

With money as tight as it is, the Tri is going on hold...so I need to find a goal to be working toward in the mean time....it is how I focus...

I have been thinking..marathon? training for a later Tri? I don't know maybe both, but for now my goal is going to be to make peace with where I am and what I can do right now...

Time to get real...I haven't been working out much for a couple of weeks now...this all hit and I got sidetracked...I was emotionally drained and tired physically...so I got slack...this fed into feeling really not good about myself...along with not working out, nutrition went out the window...either not eating enough or eating junk...it is time to put a stop to this!

The plan is to get the nutrition back in line...back to basicly clean eating, 5 times a day, drinking my water and listening to my body.

Workout wise, I am giving myself some break until after the move. I was challenged to a crossfit workout challenge that is 12 minute cicuit that involves 10 push ups, 15 situps and 12 walking lunges...repeated for 12 minutes...for me today that ended up being 120 pushups, 180 situps and 144 walking lunges...who would have thought you could get such a complete workout in 12 minutes!! This works for me at the moment...Three days a week I will do a 3-5 mile run...anything else will be bonus as time allows and energy levels allow...once the move is complete, I will look at what my options are for working out at home until I can get a car....

I have a plan, I have someone to hold me to the plan and I am going to do this...I will not let this crisis and frustration completely derail me!

Struggles

Many of you know that we are facing many changes and some crisis are the reason for them..The good news is we have found a place to move. It is much smaller than where we are, but someone else will be doing the yard work...I like that part at least...It is leaving the town we now live in, but not too far out and closer to the mountains...that is a plus...I am trying to be positive about this change, but for those that know me, you know I don't like change that much...

The other thing that has really thrown me for a loop, my car blew the motor this past week. It is an old car and it would cost more to fix than the car is worth...the problem it is my only car. This means I am sitting at home. I don't know how I am going to move, or how I am going to get where I need to go in the meantime...Financially we are putting everything into the move right now...trying to maintain the home we are in and secure another one is expensive and is not leaving room for buying another car.

On an emotional level, I am struggling...I love the house we are in. I love the town I live in. I am tired of the drama with the house and the owners and I know the move will allow for peace in that sense, but it is a big adjustment to move to a new community and not have transportation at the same time...as for the car, it was my mom's car. She went home to our Father last September and letting go of the car, is like letting go of another part of her...that is why I kept the car to start with...it was like having her with me. She was so proud of that old car and driving it, I felt like she was there with me...it was when I could talk things over with her...it seems like I am having to let go of many of her things right now and that is really hard for me...I am missing her so much right now and honestly feel very alone to deal with it all....

This is my fitness blog, but I really don't have much to say in that area tonight...I did swim some today, but that is about it right now...I have no motivation to get out and run in the heat and the gym is not even possible until we get a car...I am spending most of my time working on packing and trying to sort out the emotions behind this. I know I need to come up with a plan that will work for me until I can get back to the gym...

Nutrition is all over the map. I will admit that I have enjoyed being a little more relaxed about it, but I know I need to get the meals back on track...at least I can control that right now...nothing else seems to be within my control....

I am having major issues with sleep...I have a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep...I wake up tired and grumpy and just wanting to go back to bed, but if I lay down I am wide awake....

Hopefully I will figure out how to make the move happen, and settle in to the new place in a couple of weeks and be able to get back on track....

Sharing this, so people don't think I just vanished, just not in the best place right now.

Living Life Unsettled

I am really struggling right now with everything going on. Trying to find a place to move with no vehicle to go look makes it hard. Trying to find a place in the area I am in and want to stay in, seems impossible! I know with God all things are possible and He may be leading us away from here for a reason, but I have no peace in my spirit about anything right now. I have found one place I know we could do, but just not sure it is the right place for us. If we don't make a decision soon, it will be gone and the search continues. Found a house in the area, but the owner's never pick up the phone or return a call. Can we say frustration. I am feeling a ton of stress and presure to get this taking care of, but little support to make it happen. With my husband gone all the time, I feel very much alone to deal with all of it and that is a hard place to be right now.

I am feeling very stuck at the moment and since we still don't know what the problem is with my car, that may not change for sometime. Being at home all the time is nerve racking for all of us.

Fitness wise...a good bit of walking and some of that carrying a 50 pound child! Working out at home is not working because kids interrupt to much...this is why I joined a gym. Nutrtion .... don't even want to talk about it! Some how in the middle of all of this, I need to find my focus. It seems to be gone right now and my mood reflects it.

What Next????

Life is not being very cooperative today! I got up this morning thinking this is a good day! Most of the major packing done and life can get back to normal...had a hard time motivating, but made it to the gym for a kick boxing class with my favorite warrior instructor! It was a hard workout, but felt so good! I did a 3 mile run and headed home. Got home and got a call from the realtor about the home we just put under contract...the wife decided to pull it off the market and use it as a vacation home!! So we are back to looking for a place and I am stressed...I am okay with moving, but the not knowing where is what bothers me.

Decided to take some stuff back to the library to get some alone time to pray through all the emotions I was feeling....came out of the library and the car didn't want to start, but it did. As I started home, I noticed it was making a funny pinging noise....then it started losing power. By the grace of God it made it to where I could safely get it off the road and leave it before it died...I had to walk home with the library books and movies...More stress!

Got home to a sick child...fever and tummy ache!! It is probably nothing but a tummy bug, but a sick, needy child is tough today...trying to focus on her and not everything else going on.

I evidently hit my burnt hand on something somewhere in this mess and popped a blister...now that hurts!

So what is next???

We don't know what is wrong with the car for sure or how long it will take to fix, so I am stuck at home...no way to look for a place to move but the computer...finding some places, but really nothing in the area I live in and want to stay in...I don't want to move away from here. I do have a couple of friends that I can count on here...I don't want to have to start over somewhere else!
I am stuck at home, no way to hit the gym, my daughter is gone to a friend's so no sitter to be able to leave to run/ride....

To say the least, nutrition has sucked today! I don't even want to think about it...

I did get motivated and brought my treadmill, step, hand weights and kettle bell in from the building, thinking I can maybe workout tomorrow. I set it up in what used to be our dinning room (before we started packing). I moved the big table to the side and set everything up...thinking I can run intervals on the mill and then do a powewr hour style workout or a boot camp training while I am stuck at home....It is a matter of will my now feeling better 5 year old cooperate with that tomorrow...we will see...at least I have a plan and I am going to try.

Mind, Body and Spirit!

There is so much that I love about my gym. I workout/train at our YMCA. The YMCA is a Christ centered gym with the goal being to promote a healthy mind, body and spirit! I love this aspect of my gym. Most places focus on the body alone, but to truly be healthy we have to have balance in all three.

When you walk into my gym, it is like walking into a friend's house...everybody is friendly and supportive from the front desk staff or the trainers and instructors. People know you by name and want to know what you are doing and how you are doing...goals and dreams are encouraged and assitance if availiable. The classes are challenging, but fun..you will laugh and cry in the same class, but come out knowing you have worked your body, relieved some stress and had a moment to reflect on the awesomeness of our God! I love this! I look forward to the thought and verse that is read at the end of classes!

Starting Monday, my gym is starting a new challenge...Mind, Body and Spirit Challenge. You have to track weekly on a board at the gym what you have done for the Mind, the Body and the SPirit. You have to workout for 2.5 hours a week and then complete challenges in the other areas...if you read my blog and follow my workouts, you know that most days I work out close to 2.5 hours so that is not the challenge for me. I am taking on this challenge to focus more on my mind and spirit...

True health is a balance and I don't believe I can say I am a healthy, fit person when the focus is just the body...so for this challenge I will be making time to deal with feelings and emotions, challenge my mind in new learning adventures and spending time daily with my God in worship, prayer and/or Bible study.

I am not dropping my other challenges to do this, I am incorperating them all together...

My personal summer challenge was to try new things and push my body to a new place. I have and am doing this...I have added zumba, cardio dance, kick boxing, power hour, swimming and cycling to my workouts this summer. I will continue to find new ways to challenge myself through out the summer.

FabFit Challenge is for me about getting my nutrition where it needs to be for me. I am working on this by finding what I enjoy eating that works to fuel my body effectively and allows me to eat enough to support what I am doing in workouts...To continure my Tri Training.

The the Mind, Body, Spirit challenge will be more about challenging my mind and spirit...

All three challenges work together and are running the rest of the summer.

I am in the middle of packing and preparing for a move within the next couple of months, so I am not going to say I will post daily, but I will blog as often as I can about where I am at and what I am doing...maybe daily at times...just depends on the time I have to work on it...

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s learning to dance in the rain.”